did you miss one?

i know you did cos one didn't blog yesterday! haha, anyway, one is not dead yet (just in case you were hoping for that), just that em stayed over last night so one did not have time to blog until 7 in the morning and one was too damn tired.

so anyway, i met up with my bitch today and we went shopping! but omg, town is so damn crowded i tell you (chinese, malay, indian, bangla) one million sweaty bodies pressed against eaach other just cos it's a damn public holiday. so today is officially "we meet people we hate day" and that sucks okay. like seriously, it was horrible, do people you hate have telepathy? that they decide to come together and traumatise one's town experience with their presence all at the same time? (gah!)

so anyway, retail therapy > shithead fucktards and so i shall talk about what i bought today cos that's being happy and one is still trying one's utmost best to stay in "positive thinking" mode. one bought 2 babydoll dresses today, one empire dress from topshop and one bubble dress (not like you'd care). but recently, one has started to love dresses, very airy, makes one feel like one is walking around naked and one likes that feeling. cross-reference: for guys, it's how you feel when you choose boxers over underwear. geddit? be nekkid! : )

so since mich complains one does not have pics of her up one's blog, meet mich, my bitch.



hello michelle! : )



and she's going to kill me for putting this up, but it was really a horrible day, so i need to sum it up using a horrible photo

alrighty then, one is feeling like a bubble with a bad headache cos of half a box of banana nut crunch and lots of fluids in my body.

p/s: one's middle finger nail broke and i know this sounds ironic cos one never had nails for the past 18 years of my life, but now, my middle finger really feels bare and naked : ( it's kind of like not wearing panties you know? the feeling's just not right -sulks- now you know why guys don't understand what's the big deal when a girl breaks her nail

work tomorrow, and the day after (bah!)

and because i slept, woke up, and can't get to sleep again

this is from mitch albom's for one more day:

"Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation. one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and one will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

What if you got it back?"

Funny but, this is a question I've asked myself over and over.
Right up to now, there isn't one answer I can hold true to.

What about you?

i can finally drive!

right. well, almost! i'm 1/3 on my way to driving okay. finally passed my FTT evaluation today (hurrah!), well it's about time! it's my second try, okay don't tell anyone now now (sshh!). so urm, one can finally take my FTT and hopefully (prays very very very hard) one can pass one's driving this sept (yeahright). this is what i want to drive:



a jeep wrangler. vroom vroom! then i can be taller than every single car out on the road and roll over them all. yay!

but then again, i'd rather be driven around then drive. so, any takers? driving today was with xiu, and later, met up with prata and fad and we chilled at westmall (boring!) for a while before heading to join mich and we wemt down to her place to chill. life's really getting boring nowadays, nothing much to look forward to, just work, work and more work.

oh! and i want this book very much!



if you'll help me go to kino and get it (i'll pay you of cos), will gladly share my 20% discount with you! : )

work is a chore & bore

this is what i did at work today, for half the time i was there. and if you can't see, one was on the phone, first to mich, then to em, then to alien. can it get anymore boring than this? note: picture is black and white to emphasise on the level of boredom one felt when one was at work.

the other half of the time? one spent choosing chocs to eat, and then wishing someone would get me peach green tea cos one's throat was drying up from all the chocs one ate. obviously, one's wishes and prayers were futile. one wonders why one is still not quitting the job despite all of one's complaints and one saying "this will be my last month" for the last urm, 6 months.

one doesn't get it either.

and then one realises why.

it's because of...



this, really. nothing more.
this is what makes black and white colourful. : )

it's getting harder and harder, things are different now, it's not like before anymore.

guide to instant mind blowing orgasm

if one is unable to attain orgasm after seeing this, one should get ovaries checked.

note to self: egad! second post of the day! one had better exercise some self-control before one turns into blogging freak like the alien!

one will not let mad hair get one down

woke up bright and early today (for the first time ever) at 9 am despite the fact that one only slept at 3 plus in the morning. was determined to be postive, happy-thoughts thinking church going human. woke up with mad hair, but was determined not to let mad hair get to me as today is 'positive & happy thoughts day" and therefore, one shall not get affected by the devil who is trying to bring me down. turned out positive thinking isn't good enough as half an hour before church, one's hair still remained mad, despite tons of pantene anti-frizz on hair and lots of unsuccessful combing : (

still! struggled cos determined to maintain postivity in self and thus got changed and ready despite having mad hair and even had time to camwhore before church.



this is positive shot of the day. no negative things, if not you can shut it. urm, one still had mad hair and note general disarray of room (gah!). -thinks positive thoughts-

however, one's levi's was really feeling tight and one didn't really feel like sitting through a 2 hr church sermon in super tight levi's so one entered fat mode. FAT MODE! and what does one do when one is in fat mode? one gets changed into maternity like dress. great dress from zara. hides fats in desperate situations. and goody! even matches shrek hairband and one can act cute before church! yay! things are looking better already!



please get your shrek ears today! $2 for ronald's kids!

was expecting really boring day at work today but one got to hear some juicy gossip and prata came down and gave one a surprise visit! hurrah! looks like one will have to blog about 10 reasons on why she makes a great friend after all. so anyway, we had macs, seaweed shaker fries, yum yum, our virgin experiece, and i lost it to her, hah! then we camwhored, though 3/4 of the photos got deleted cos what i liked, she hated, and vice versa.



that's us. literally. black and white. i'm white, she's black. one has to make this clear cos she thinks she's white :x



and us in sepia. never knew my camera had so many different modes. and i've had the camera for more than a year. haha, am an IT noob

ok, nothing much to say anymore cos i keep getting distracted by antm. oh and, random but i really like this phrase from part of song in church: "life is too short to be lukewarm"

THINK POSTIVE THOUGHTS! : ) (seems to be working for one already)

can things get any worse? seriously? (gah!)

this is without a doubt, absofuckinglutely the worst day of my life, ever. (minus a whole lot of other shitty events of cos)
shall list shitty events of the day in randomness, in random order.

1. as expected, overslept and missed open house (like what's new right?) so concluded that one will practically have no social life whatsoever in uni, will be declared loser and pariah of the highest order and will then truly become single (literally) & fabulous (not!)

2. was doomed to spend a saturday, my saturday, at home unsweet home

3. met up with mich and we headed down to st james for the nus event only to find out it's over. O-V-E-R (yahyah, laugh in my face already)

4. wanted to cab to town but, cab queue was longer than your (no one in particular) dick and therefore had to train down instead

5. reacahed town, and yay, wonders of wonders, shops were all closed/closing/uninteresting in the case of those that were actually open

6. we went to get drinks and 7-11 had an offer for pokka drinks and only when we were paying they told us the offer was no longer

7. thought things couldn't get any worse but! horrors of horrors, bumped into china neighbour jefferson an outside luckyk plaza with sleeveless tight tee and baggy i'm-so-cool-i-look-like-rain jeans along with greasy long shaggy like hair plastered to similar oily greasy like face. shock was accentuated by puff of smoke blown into one's face at exact same moment by random guy. had to get through painful humiliation of passerbys staring as the jefferson talked to me. conversation went something like this:

c.m. : "ay, how have you been?"
me: "i thought you went back china already?" giggles due to lack of control over suppressed laughter
c.m. looks stunned and shocked, almost to the extent of being pissed
me: "i meant i thought you're supposed to go overseas and study after your o's?"
c.m.: "oh you mean america? not going anymore"
me: "oh okay, then where are you now and are you alone?"
c.m. glances around to find china mate who has apparently walked off without him
c.m.: "i'm with my friend..."
-awkward silence cos friend apparently not in sight-
c.m. turns to mich, "hello michelle!" (very heavily china accented)
mich: "errrmm, hiiii"
me: "ok, we gtg now! bye!"

LOL, btw, c.m. stands for china man haha

8. heard and got very affected by fucktards ah bengs bitchings (shld have fucking shoved cigg butts up their asses)

9. both mich and i developed serious blisters from flats (almost felt skin tear when one was bathing)

10. caught flu due to no apparent fault of one's self (looks at em accusingly)

ok, one should stop at 10 or there'll be no end to bad things cos one is already developing headache just remembering all these bad events.

hopefully, things will be better tom cos one is actually going to church so god bless me!

mornings should really be spent sleeping

so why can't i seem to understand this simple fact? 7 freaking 13 am in the morning and i am still fucking blogging. why? why? why?! time to analyse this dysfunctional syndrome of mine. 1. am still having recurrent orgasm shocks due to 3 hours of johnny depp just 9 hours ago, 2. em just left my house an hour ago and that doesn't really count cos i was disturbing him the entire night cos i couldn't get to sleep, 3. one is suffering from insomnia, 4. one is still unsuccessfully trying to get someone to accompany me to nus biz open hse tomorrow, no actually, a few hours from now (that is a fact, cos one just sms-ed prata a few minutes ago begging her to accompany me), 5. one is praying that one can actually wake up for open house later.



HIGHLIGHT OF FRIDAY = PIRATES!

to all the reviews esp. life who gave it 2 stars, popcorns or whatever bullshit, i'm telling you fuck the review! pirates is the shit man! love it love it love it! : ) one would not mind watching it again, and again, and again, and then again, together with the first 2. does that tell you how much i love it? and no, it's not just cos of johnny depp. no spoilers here but one personally gives it 4 popcorns, stars, shags, sampoornas blah blah blah. it's just good geddit? there shall be no pictures today except for the pirate pic i stole from google because firstly, one did not charge camera, and secondly, one was not having a good day with the boyfriend.

okay, don't judge our relationship cos we had a good night, no, make that great night (and don't think dirty) cos he stayed over later and we were not arguing except for me telling him over and over again that i hate him and i want to kill him (which i'm sure he knows i don't mean it, cos i say those things to people i like, love, whatever).

gabe's supposed to be coming back on sunday so hurrah! am waiting really impatiently for it cos one misses one's cousin very much (awww!)

note to self: lido is a bad bad place to go cos one will definitely bump into people one would never want to see ever again e.g. at later's open house (assuming one actually does go)

alrighty then, will blog later tonight/morning, and go catch pirates tho' it's a saturday! it's worth every single dollar you have!

balls and work just do not go

one was really hyped about blogging about last night, but since one only got to sleep at 8 30 am in the morning today, and just came back from work, one shall just post a few pics and let fingersdontfing.com do the elaboration. : ) work today = many friends day. i had em coming down today (yay), ziluo coming down (cos i made him come get his presents), mich and jiemin coming down (would very much like to say they came down cos they missed me, but i think they just wanted to get chocs) and surprise visit from song and his new gf although i couldn't really entertain them cos stress level was at an all high at that point of time. was kind of moody today and i wasn't sure why, maybe because one didn't get 10 hours of sleep today, so one felt really grumpy, but one finally got an epiphany when one went to the toilet and realised that one just got one's period at work, when one's wearing a dress, and one has no pad. fantastic.

so yada yada blah blah, last night or make that a few hours ago was great and there are just 2 very important highlights everyone should know. 1. AC Milan won Liverpool (hurrah! 3 cheers for kaka, and the rest of the hot team!) and 2. bumped into hippie looking white guy who asked us "do you know where i can get weed?" to which alien replied "nope, but i'm trying to get some too" haha.

so anyway,



this is half of ziluo's present. my homemade double choc muffins. do you see the happy face? muffins are smiling! something like this: : )



this is our very pathetic view of the match at some random coffee shop in holland v (all the nightspots were closed! god knows why) where the crowd consists of black people, white people, yellow people and so on. urm, some random information, think there were only 3 people in the entire coffee shop supporting AC Milan and that includes me, alien and random guy sitting right smack in the middle. learnt a few things from last night. 1. Liverpool's goalie is called pehpeh, which is malay for vagina, 2. in prata's case, Liverpool's loss is more important than her O and A level results cos one has never seen her so depressed before and lastly, 3. even nerds say cheebye when they are disappointed.



this is our super cute miniature bottle of absolut raspberry. it helped prata get over her depression (well, most of it)




and this is us, at approximately 5 am, mad, very mad. note, shrek hairbands are very cute. double note: one is wearing indian dot, one is an albino indian.

and finally,



my so called best friends who spent the rest of the morning sleeping on my very comfortable bed leaving no space for me, so one had to go out and entertain dog whilst they slept. p/s: we're so enthu we dressed for the occasion. Liverpool supporter in red, and AC Milan supporters in white.

PIRATES TOMORROW! : )

and my BFF (and ever and ever) turns 19 !

it's exactly 5:55 am now and this post is entirely dedicated to you mr NG ZILUO! (so be honoured)
happy happy happpppyyyyyy birthdayyyyyyyyy! -am screaming it at the top of my lungs-

there's really nothing you haven't done already, except for drugs and sex (the former please don't ever touch, and the latter, will be praying you get touched) haha. so anyway, to my dearest friend ever, pretty please cut down on ciggie intake cos due to old age lungs don't seem to function as well anymore and same goes for the liver so do very well stop visiting your best friend harry too.

so that's 19 years of your existence, and 7 years of our friendship with many more to come.

have the happiest of happiest birthdays and please, live forever. : )

(updates on night's adventure laters!)

for the boyfriend who thinks no one knows about him (when in fact everyone does)

MY BOYFRIEND.

everybody, say hello to my boyfriend. *waves*
this is for my boyfriend who tells me i never put captions for any of our friendster pics, nor let everyone know that he's my boyfriend.
so this picture is captioned: my boyfriend. : )

urm, short lil' post, considering i woke up like 40 minutes ago? by 40 minutes ago, i mean 6 pm. (great isn't it?)
will be heading to hollland v laters for liverpool and ac milan (yawn, should have reserved sleep for later) so hopefully i'll have lots of white boy updates (holland v has loads of white people) -crosses fingers- and return with no hangovers or urm, will just leave the rest to my imagination.

in the meantime, am proud to say that blog is still surviving (very good, considering its already been 3 days of consecutive updating, hah! take that prata!), and leave your page (preferably set my blog as your comp wallpaper) right here, and wait very impatiently for my next update! : )

if you have issues, i have tissues

"the difference between want and need is self-control."

i am depressed. i don't know why. maybe it's because i'm currently reading a book about depression, and that bits of it makes me think of my own life, or that i'm so involved and absorbed in the book, i actually feel the girl's pain, and that's why i feel depressed too. is that psycho? i'm only halfway through and i'm amazed by the fact that this book with large font (which made me think it's chilidish and got me screaming my ass off after getting it off kino cos i thought i wasted 16 bucks on it) can actually affect me to such an extremely large extent. and the best/worst part is? i can't put the book down.

this is my psychotic side. i love books like that, i love sob stories which tell of depression, disorders, suicide, abuse etc. and this is why i loved dave pelzer's autobiography series (read it over many times, and cried every single time), and am always scouring books in the teenage section of the library cos i guess people think adolescence is the peak period of the occurence of such abnormalities. shitpissfuck, am i weird? (sometimes i seriously do freak myself out) but i just want to know these people so bad, it's like a strange suction force, and in a way, i guess i'm drawn to them whilst at the same time knowing about myself. and in case you're wondering, book in question is red tears by joanna kenrick and i was so desperate to get it, i actually went to borders, then kino in town, only for them to tell me it's sold out, got salesgirl to reserve copy for me in bugis kino and then immediately headed down to get my order and started on book immediately once i got home leaving the time traveller's wife (which i bought yesterday) completely untouched.

anyway, i don't need anyone to judge me, or question my state of mind or draw conclusions as to why my fascination with such dysfunctions and link it to your derived conclusion that i am one of these people cos i attribute qualities of eating disorders etc. so anyway, since i am still currently feeling depressed after a one hour long bath (which failed to cheer me up), plus the fact that diet is not going well at all (ironic i know), one will leave you with a thinspiration video that jillyan told me about. and no i am not psycho cos my intention is for the video to work with a reverse effect especially to my anorexic/bulimic friends.


(1) http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=AICKzmIYNpk

(2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34oF_0F1DGs&mode=related&search=

p/s: damn, just watching videos and the apt songs makes me want to cry

p/p/s: sorry prata! am supposed to dedicate today's entry to you, but am to depressed to do so. but videos are dedicated to you and you BETTER watch it!

good night, it's only 7:10 am

one can't believe one is doing this (blogging, that is), at 7:10 am in the morning. one must be mad, must be all that sugar rush, stuffing oneself with chocolates the entire night and prolly gaining 10 kg while at it, or maybe cos one is still having orgasmic hyperventilations over johnny depp after watching pirates of the carribean 1 & 2 back-to-back. now one is all geared up for pirates 3 on friday. hurrah!

ok, just had a mental block and realised one has been using the word "one" to describe oneself non-stop the entire day (excuse me, but one just can't stop doing it). can't believe i didn't watch sex and the city today, though its ok cos johnny depp makes up for everything. EVERYTHING! anyway, one has free tickets to pirates 3 so be jealous everybody! tres exclusivo! : ) courtesy of my beloved emerick goh wei zhen/chen (i didn't forget, am just a little confused at 7:16 am). speaking of which, after reading my blog, emerick says he is "speechless" cos "it's different from what i am in real life". is it really? i say fuck here, i say fuck in your face, i say fuck all the time. i bitch here, i bitch in your face, i bitch all the time. basically, i'm just me in words. what do you think? does one agree with emerick or with me? (once again, do not have to answer if you don't want to - refer to blog title once again). i love rhetorical questions. they're pointless, redundant and random, but it just embodies me, myself and i. : )

oh urm, i know kai jie wants to know about my day instead other people's day, so for once, shall succumb to write like ordinary bloggers and tell you what i did approximately a few hours back. i woke up, went to town, then bugis, then had to shit, so cabbed home, had mich stayover and had a movie marathon whilst stuffing my face with carbo loaded food non-stop, then after she left, weighed myself, feel immensely depressed and am therefore blogging to try to lose some finger fats. there you go, my very exciting day for you.

ok, realised one has to wake up in like 6 hours time just to get 30 bucks, so one has to sleep now, cos as everyone knows, one needs at least 10 hours of sleep a day. and before i forget, am determined (for real this time) to go on serious diet, weight is shocking, levis are shrinking.

goodnight world, you know you love me!
happy living whilie i'm sleeping!

say hurrah (!) for virgin post

am bored out of my fuckswits as you can see, and am therefore blogging to kill time (blog may close in less than a week due to sudden inactivity though). my virgin public post, and there's nothing i'd like more than to vent, vent all i want and than wipe them silly smirks off some people's faces cos i'd be bitching (naturally) about them, and thus they don't have anything worth feeling happy about anymore. but then again, i have no balls (both in the literal and unliteral sense) and in little singapore, i can't afford to antagonise anyone cos the next thing i know, i'll prolly bump into them the next day in town (my second home) and risk social suicide. so, i'd prolly just bitch about my life, which is pretty much monotonous. to summarise, its one big yawn. everyone else's life is like a tangent you know? gradually increasing (in the happening sense), unlike mine, which is more like a (shit i forgot what the fuck a decreasing curve is called), so urm, less happening life.

so some updates on such people's lifes would be firstly, my friend the alien is getting paid by nike just because she blogs. great. and i have to be working my butt off just to earn like a pathetic amnt of money which only goes to my cab fare and choc incentives which only make me fatter than i already am. great isn't it? and then there's the newfound discovery of nerds going clubbing (thanks to my best social network, friendster), so there well, even nerds have a nightlife, whilst i, yours truly is still confined to a before 12 curfew by my parents who see me as 9 and not 19. still wish you had a vagina? i don't. ok, i realise i'm getting really crude, but blame it on my inactive brain cells at 4 am and i can't think of any other adjectives. besides, fuck is bascially universal language, seems to fit everyone/everything doesn't it? fuck fuckety fuck fuck. hurrah! (btw, i gave up being nice. that phase lasted for a -hold your breath- 2 week period and now i'm officially back on track to the road of swearing nirvana). mean people (including myself of cos) are everywhere, they break me down, so is it still worth being nice, seriously? (you don't have to answer - refer to blog title). oh urm and, xiuli's in spain, i've only been to spain once, and that's when my finger touched the word spain on the globe. well there, and she's been for 2 holidays the past 6 months and i've been to zero. nada. filch. ditto. i seem to have forgotten another world exists outside singapore, no wait, make that town.

enough of verbal diarrhoea, time to get down to bitching. this is my blog and if i'm not getting paid or sponsored to write, the least i can expect to get is a cathartic effect from all my time and effort wasted. 3 words. I HATE FUCKING POLITICS. i realise it's actually 4 words now but i just had to add fucking. came across my colleague's blog and she talked about how she and another colleagues were bitching about someone else which got me thinking, could it be me? don't you just hate that feeling? as in turns out, i quote her, full-timers bitch about that particular person and considering i'm not close to the full-timers, let's hope -crosses fingers, prays to god- it isn't me. why must politics be everywhere? it's like omnipresent and it's not even god. at school, at work, sick cycle carousel.

note to self: one needs to give less thought to what others think of me, cos what matters most is what one thinks of others.
hah! bet you were expecting me to say what matters most is what my friends/loved ones/myself thinks of myself.

and if i say you're a cow, you're a cow. : )